im clear of what i want for my studies and future. but i would be at loss of what to do if i fail my interview. i swear i feel fucking stressed up right now, feels like im taking Os again. no, even worst. if i pass, i'd be overjoy and anounce to the world im the happiest girl on earth. but if i fail, i'd stay at home and be depressed like fuck.
im very touched by all the encouragement and support given my friends, the support given by my mummy especially. i hope i won't fail you guys and myself. im as touched when LB mates text me, fb me, msn me telling me to stay in clementi. you guys are extreme sweeties!
however,this might be the climax of my life or the lowest point of it. i hope my efforts won't go down the drain, my hardwork would get paid off. i seriously wanna pass it. it's not to prove anyone wrong or what. but a strong desire in my heart. i really really really want to get it. it beats the want of wanting any nice shoes, earrings, bracelet or clothes. it's something major to me now. it may be a breeze for others. but i have no art background. so what if i have the passion and interest? i gotta face reality. reality might give a slap on my face that im not up to it or a glow in my path that im halfway there. all i can say now is, to have faith, have hope. but sometimes having faith or hope doesn't cure. my brain is all cocked up with art art art art art. i can't go by a minute without thinking bout my final pieces, can't go by a second thinking of the outcome. im always thinking what would happen if i didn't get it? how would i react? and vice versa if i were to pass. if i have to give up having fun for getting in, i wouldn't mind. please please please guan yin ma poo pee i pass it. please please please, i promise to be good!