CASS.

CASS.
17. i inhale C10H14N2

Wednesday

it's sick that how someone whom you often see after school at the coffeeshop near sch,
with that cute smile and huge specs on her face saying hi to you, just gone like that.
just gone like that thanks to an accident.
a hit and run driver. i hope your guilt haunts you so badly that it eats you up.
bei bei zheng, i miss you. tho we're not of such close friends, but thinking that,
someone who occasionally talks to you on fb chat, rooting up on you, is just gone.
you don't deserve it. yes, another phase of your life was just about to start in a few months time.
why. why is it you? i believe you did nothing wrong.
you're so bubbly, so encouraging.
all the memories of us just keep flashing back.
the last time i saw you was when you carried momo to school.
we were still joking bout the milk for momo getting all drank, resulting your bag to be soaked in momo's pee.
it's so sudden.
gen's voice of telling me 'our beth is gone' keeps ringing in my head.
i couldn't react.
but now, it's taking it's effect on me. i can't stop tearing as im typing this.
looking at your fb profile, brings back so much.
'yo yellow' will always be two words to make me remember you.
bei bei zheng will be the nick name i'll never forget.

you may have left, crying may do of no help to bring you back.
but you'll always be in our hearts, we'll miss you.

Thursday

still remember the first time we met? unknowingly, we could actually hit off quite well... i miss you.

Sunday

i like how you would never fail to ask me what happened when you see my unhappy tweets.
i like how you would tell me you're not tired(when you actually am) with a smile to make me feel better
i like how you never fail to make me laugh when i'm out with you
i like how you sound
i like how cute you look with those tiger tooth
i like how you entertain me through the web-cam on late nights
i like how you never fail to assure me when i confront you about my uncertainty
i like how you react when i disturb you all the time
i like how you genuinely like me
you're special on your own but in general, you're the same as the rest, giving me the same reason.
or should i say, excuse?

Saturday

sometimes, when i read back my old post, i don't even know what me myself and i am refering to,LOL
life had been hell of drama and i don't really like that hectic phase of it.
when things had cool off, (for me at least) life just got better with the absence of you.
i got a clearer view of everything when i took a step front. i don't regret this time round, but glad that it happened and that it's over. everything was easier than i thought. in fact, i havent been feeling any long aches for quite some time. should get serious soon. no wait, get serious when the right one comes by. for now, i can only wish all the best to the both of you. ohwell, love is blind. very blind.

Thursday


few hours ago, it was so reassuring. after that, it all hits back to sq1.
what am i even? to you.

Wednesday


telling myself, to stay on, hold on, sit back and relax.
but i know deep down inside i can't stay still any longer.
not because i can't keep but i can't take it anymore, it's tiring.
so tiring, that i might just wash my hands off and leave before it gets worst.
but history might repeat itself.
the pain inflicted upon that beating organ is much more painful than anyone could thought of.
i don't wish to go through it again, but things just don't seem to be as good as thought.
if time could turn back, i'd change many decisions.
decisions that won't cause such trouble to myself again.

Sunday

i'm lost.
words are just words.
you can express how much you want within just a word.

you can speak a thousand line
but there may be just one answer.

i mean.
it's stupid you know.

feeling upset over nothing,
feeling shit cause of nothing,
getting all shag cause of nothing.

just because,
the nothing is actually something to you.

Wednesday


almost lost that bracelet but it magically appear inside my bag! :o fated. heh

bam

Friday


wa this shoes chio sia. look like the one i just bought.
wait... it is.HAHAHAHHAHAH WOOOO~

Wednesday


nike high cuts iz ta shitz!!!

and now, i don't even know what i want. i'm in a mess.

meeting drew never fails to make me L O L.
really love this bro of mine.
not forgetting vis bis, nika, ah hui, hanzxszx, fairbitch kel.
i miss us. sighhh~~~~

Tuesday



do you see them as slowly fading away or slowly appearing....?

i know you're still up.
i know it's not that you're tired.
but i don't know what's the reason of lying.
and i do want to know.

either way, don't think too highly of yourself.
i could forget you in a snap of my finger.

Monday


what would you do if you're only left with 24hours till death?

Sunday


i have a bad habit of giving up my sleep for something else i know would eventually go into a waste

Saturday

i have so much to say. but it seems like there's more than what i can put in to words.
i yearn to be as free as air, floating around with no restrictions

i pray for the same thing everynight. seeking the same answer but to no avail.
oh when. when? when will my answers appear..

they say, time will tell. time will heal.
what can time heal when there's nothing to heal?
i've given up on time.

i admire my guts at times but my fears never cease.