'its not that all the guys are the same. it's that all the guys you've met sucks.'

i could still rmb how stern he looked saying that, onlooker's view like he's protecting the males.
indeed, i've met the worst guy on earth. treated me like a princess then threw me away out of a sudden, without a warning, without any signs. it took over the whole of me, making me cry myself to sleep(i didn't know such thing really exist till it happened to me), making me lose control, making me not able to laugh at any jokes, making me not interested in anyone else but him. what was really hurtful inside was not cause that he left without showing me any hints but that why he made me fall so deep, why he treated me so well, letting me have the space to think of all the good times when he's gone. after getting through the toughest period, i told myself to never ever sink into love. never to treat it so seriously, never to give too much.
but what he didnt know was that i've met the best guy on earth too, one who really treated me like a gem, one who gave in so much that he never ever scold me or show me any appearance of unhappiness. but i was too young to have hurt him, to neglect him, to throw tantrupts at him, to make him suffer like how i did.
once bitten twice shy, can't blame me ay? nope,it was not after revenge. it was just purely too into friendship and neglect love, not in a great need of love. it was just a game. a game that i never knew i was capable of hurting others.
slowly, i learnt that i shouldn't be so selfish, shouldn't be so mean. learnt that i should not treat the other like how i did previous just because of a setback. i got back into the right track of treating it well. but apparantly, i can't enjoy the joy of being treated like a princess anymore. each time, i want to be closer, it draws me away. each time, i grew more interest, i slowly get bored of it cause i dont feel how i felt the first time when i was treated like a diamond.
feels like it's just a game again. still young, got many more chances out there, many more guys out there, but it feels like the stubborn me making love to a game that im not capable of playing this time. this time, i kinda. kinda, kinda admit defeat.