it all started from at a time which i can't recall. it was just a gush of emotions that tells me something's going on. can't explain how it came so sudden. was true the first time i denied. then, i can't deny that it's there. instead, it's getting stronger and i dont know how to let it go. and fuckyeah, im gonna torture myself by holding on till the end when you say. i have finally thought through how to make things better for myself. and you too. im gonna let myself be on an online mode. available when im beside you, be right back when you're busy, away when i go back to my old self, busy when im holding too tight, appear offline when we need space, sign out when it's over.