too old to cry over, too young to suffer.

yay satisfactionotguarantee.blogspot

2011-06-18T05:14:00.003+08:00

Ask me anything@http://formspring.me/cassandraong

2011-04-20T16:10:00.002+08:00

it's sick that how someone whom you often see after school at the coffeeshop near sch,

with that cute smile and huge specs on her face saying hi to you, just gone like that.

just gone like that thanks to an accident.

a hit and run driver. i hope your guilt haunts you so badly that it eats you up.

bei bei zheng, i miss you. tho we're not of such close friends, but thinking that,

someone who occasionally talks to you on fb chat, rooting up on you, is just gone.

you don't deserve it. yes, another phase of your life was just about to start in a few months time.

why. why is it you? i believe you did nothing wrong.

you're so bubbly, so encouraging.

all the memories of us just keep flashing back.

the last time i saw you was when you carried momo to school.

we were still joking bout the milk for momo getting all drank, resulting your bag to be soaked in momo's pee.

it's so sudden.

gen's voice of telling me 'our beth is gone' keeps ringing in my head.

i couldn't react.

but now, it's taking it's effect on me. i can't stop tearing as im typing this.

looking at your fb profile, brings back so much.

'yo yellow' will always be two words to make me remember you.

bei bei zheng will be the nick name i'll never forget.

you may have left, crying may do of no help to bring you back.

but you'll always be in our hearts, we'll miss you.

2011-02-24T17:09:00.001+08:00

still remember the first time we met? unknowingly, we could actually hit off quite well... i miss you.

2011-02-20T02:24:00.003+08:00

i like how you would never fail to ask me what happened when you see my unhappy tweets.
i like how you would tell me you're not tired(when you actually am) with a smile to make me feel better
i like how you never fail to make me laugh when i'm out with you
i like how you sound
i like how cute you look with those tiger tooth
i like how you entertain me through the web-cam on late nights
i like how you never fail to assure me when i confront you about my uncertainty
i like how you react when i disturb you all the time
i like how you genuinely like me
you're special on your own but in general, you're the same as the rest, giving me the same reason.
or should i say, excuse?

2011-02-05T12:05:00.002+08:00

sometimes, when i read back my old post, i don't even know what me myself and i am refering to,LOL

2011-02-05T11:58:00.004+08:00

life had been hell of drama and i don't really like that hectic phase of it.
when things had cool off, (for me at least) life just got better with the absence of you.
i got a clearer view of everything when i took a step front. i don't regret this time round, but glad that it happened and that it's over. everything was easier than i thought. in fact, i havent been feeling any long aches for quite some time. should get serious soon. no wait, get serious when the right one comes by. for now, i can only wish all the best to the both of you. ohwell, love is blind. very blind.

2010-12-16T04:01:00.001+08:00

few hours ago, it was so reassuring. after that, it all hits back to sq1.
what am i even? to you.

2010-12-15T05:11:00.002+08:00

telling myself, to stay on, hold on, sit back and relax.
but i know deep down inside i can't stay still any longer.
not because i can't keep but i can't take it anymore, it's tiring.
so tiring, that i might just wash my hands off and leave before it gets worst.
but history might repeat itself.
the pain inflicted upon that beating organ is much more painful than anyone could thought of.
i don't wish to go through it again, but things just don't seem to be as good as thought.
if time could turn back, i'd change many decisions.
decisions that won't cause such trouble to myself again.

2010-12-12T06:52:00.002+08:00

i'm lost.
words are just words.
you can express how much you want within just a word.

you can speak a thousand line
but there may be just one answer.

i mean.
it's stupid you know.

feeling upset over nothing,
feeling shit cause of nothing,
getting all shag cause of nothing.

just because,
the nothing is actually something to you.

2010-12-08T01:16:00.001+08:00

almost lost that bracelet but it magically appear inside my bag! :o fated. heh

2010-12-08T01:13:00.000+08:00

bam

2010-12-03T05:01:00.002+08:00

wa this shoes chio sia. look like the one i just bought.
wait... it is.HAHAHAHHAHAH WOOOO~

2010-12-01T02:31:00.000+08:00

nike high cuts iz ta shitz!!!

2010-12-01T00:48:00.001+08:00

and now, i don't even know what i want. i'm in a mess.

2010-12-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

meeting drew never fails to make me L O L.
really love this bro of mine.
not forgetting vis bis, nika, ah hui, hanzxszx, fairbitch kel.
i miss us. sighhh~~~~

2010-11-30T02:09:00.002+08:00

do you see them as slowly fading away or slowly appearing....?

i know you're still up.
i know it's not that you're tired.
but i don't know what's the reason of lying.
and i do want to know.
either way, don't think too highly of yourself.
i could forget you in a snap of my finger.

2010-11-29T21:56:00.003+08:00

what would you do if you're only left with 24hours till death?

2010-11-28T03:29:00.001+08:00

i have a bad habit of giving up my sleep for something else i know would eventually go into a waste

2010-11-27T05:18:00.005+08:00

i have so much to say. but it seems like there's more than what i can put in to words.
i yearn to be as free as air, floating around with no restrictions

i pray for the same thing everynight. seeking the same answer but to no avail.
oh when. when? when will my answers appear..

they say, time will tell. time will heal.
what can time heal when there's nothing to heal?
i've given up on time.

2010-11-27T05:14:00.001+08:00

i admire my guts at times but my fears never cease.

17th's glory

2010-11-25T03:11:00.001+08:00

2 more celebrations to come... heh ^^V

2010-11-25T03:01:00.002+08:00

haven't been able to find a new nice profile pic for fb leh....sian

2010-11-18T05:59:00.003+08:00

i landed myself into a bad dilemma

2010-11-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

baby la la la la

2010-11-11T18:35:00.001+08:00

save me

2010-11-07T01:14:00.000+08:00

young, fast and furious

2010-11-07T01:08:00.002+08:00

a good evidence of eve is being good at self entertaining.

2010-11-07T01:00:00.001+08:00

2010-11-07T00:55:00.002+08:00

I'm such a narcissist.

2010-11-07T00:52:00.000+08:00

2010-11-07T00:41:00.000+08:00

Inhale me.

nil

2010-11-05T15:37:00.006+08:00

2010-10-31T14:31:00.004+08:00

need to get myself a pullover....

2010-10-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

some day when i was doing my work..

2010-10-28T22:19:00.001+08:00

i.hate.friday.mornings.
i.hate.drawing.lesons.
i think im gonna fail drawing. fuck.my.life.fml fml

2010-10-25T17:06:00.003+08:00

I believe everything, everything. Would come to an end. Just a matter of time.

2010-10-25T17:06:00.001+08:00

'you have to challenge yourself'

2010-10-13T01:11:00.003+08:00

i can't stand it, i really am tight of time. sigh
i hate drawing lessons, fucken seriously. argh!
and and, i havent been up to date for my 2d sketchbook ever since proj week!
my 3d too. and especially CCS(sketchbook wise)
GM is still ok but workload seems to be increasing.....
omg how bad is that....
tsk, time to buck up and CHIONG AHHHHHHH

2010-10-09T14:50:00.003+08:00

i feel as if im carrying a big rock of stress. im so tired to start doing the bloody projects.
im sick and tired with all of the drawing. im sinking into a dilemma of giving up. but i know i shouldn't. but im just too lazy to get mooooooving...........................

2010-10-08T12:14:00.002+08:00

i'm back to sq 1 where no one can make my heart race feeling like this cupid shot rushing into my veins.
but i don't see anything bad about it :)

2010-10-08T12:13:00.000+08:00

i missed school, not a choice but by accidental.

2010-10-07T01:18:00.002+08:00

i think my lappy got some fucken virus that always delete my photos without me knowing and empty the trash on its own. fml argh

2010-10-07T01:16:00.000+08:00

2010-10-07T01:13:00.001+08:00

im so fucking tired but so happy cause we finally finished half of this 'proj'
on a side note, this morning was a terrible one for me thanks to the bad stomachache i had. i swear i could'nt concentrate at all so i had to run to the toilet thrice. how sick is that. ok i think i should get some sleep now. goodnight earthlings.

2010-10-04T02:01:00.005+08:00

i shall be a good girl and start doing all my assignments and make sure they are done on time. get my materials needed to further deco my room and motivate myself more so i can feel more happy. i like to accomplish things, i find myself more capable than what i thought i am of this way.

but obviously i have to start by kicking my bad habits of laziness and procrastinating; period

2010-10-04T01:58:00.001+08:00

god has been kind to me yesterday and i wonder why..

2010-10-04T01:57:00.001+08:00

i love shopping. i find joy in it.
like how i seek comfort from tobacco and happiness from food

2d

2010-10-02T22:05:00.006+08:00

2010-10-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

i want some coffee bean.....

2010-09-26T22:16:00.004+08:00

yesterday, at this time, my mind had a rest, a breakthrough from all the nonsense that have been hitting on me.
we were sitting at 2nd floor of nabins, excitedly waiting for the belly dancer to come over our side.
before that, fleas. old sch flea wasn't good for me, i've got nthing!
(psst, i bumped into the mighty lovely douche sandra tho, hee.)
but the flea at scape got us jumping as we found the niece of this lady who has a great mind and wonderful pair of hands to create beautiful accessories using jewel stones.
tho the flea wasn't very full of loots for me, but the company of the girls were great.
just hoping my work load won't crash me down till i'm too tired to step out of my humble abode to spread and receive the love to&from 'em the next time.
school has always been hectic. but i'm rather side tracked during the project week.
ohwell, i deserve a break right? (hypnotising myself: yes, you do~ don't feel too guilty for not touching any work)
argh, i can feel sleepless nights haunting me soon since i have not done anything.
sigh, life of a student.

2010-09-26T21:59:00.004+08:00

i shouldn't be be thinking too loudly, for this voice of mine provokes the agony in me once again.
the 8 words from the cyber site may not sound like anything but i could hear my heart being ripped apart.
these pair of dehydrated eyes are useful for once, stopping the tears from flowing.
i have been asking myself what has happened to make such happen.
i may have asked, may have yelled, may have screamed,may had prayed for the exact answer everyday. but i search to no avail.
i yearn for those gentle hands of yours to pick me up.
to tell me i don't have to be lost for my answers anymore.
i wished that i was the first to have met you so you don't have to go through those hardships
and if that happened, i won't let you get hurt. i won't let anyone hurt and cheat on you.

2010-09-23T22:50:00.005+08:00

i realise who i knew you were, is actually someone i can never read.
i know what i have been through was just a phony ;but i can't help but entertain the thoughts of you.
each time i touch the documents of you keyed in my brains, i can't stop. i can't stop feeling upset, feeling regret.
i wish i could cry it all out and make myself feel better. but all i feel now is my heart's crying in silence, my tears have dried.
i am drained. i've got over you but am not done with.
i've locked myself in an enclosed space filled with thoughts of you and i won't be able to bring in others till unknown.
you're the priceless piece of art in my gallery but i'm just a priceless piece of art in yours.
tell me, help me, save me.
tell me when is this going to end.
help me end these thoughts of you.
save me from all this agony.
if i ever have a choice, i would choose to have not known you.
if i ever have a chance to choose, i would pick the one to have cherish you, to have embrace the effort you put in to make things better, to have let us get together.
if. all of the ifs. what if the ifs come true?
i pray for your happiness but i hope i'm a part of it.
but reality gave me a tight slap on my face telling me it's all not going to happen.
what happened was a stage play which i got tricked into.
it was all a beautiful phony, a beautiful nightmare, a beautiful yet painful karma.

2010-09-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

i have a lot to say. but i don't know where to start.
i have a lot to share. but i don't know who to turn to.
i have the whole world's time but i chose to spend it in front of the screen instead of doing tmr's needed work.
i guess i need a real break. but what reality has set in for me isn't allowing me to do so.

2010-09-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

eye mask..... hehhehehe cure eyebags cure

2010-09-23T01:22:00.000+08:00

Andrew 吉 .Twj says:
like so fast one year pass already ah
Cassandra says:
yea la!!!
omg~~
*run ard the room
Andrew 吉 .Twj says:
for what?
Cassandra says:
fun lor
HAHHAHA
Andrew 吉 .Twj says:
cassandra
why you like that?
Cassandra says:
what!??!
LOL
Andrew 吉 .Twj says:
you ah
korean guy very handsome
like me
Cassandra says:
SIMI SAI

Andrew 吉 .Twj says:
they plastic surgery until very nice
but i nicer i natural

drew ah drew... funny or what!

22sept

2010-09-23T01:11:00.002+08:00

Happiness. Could be as easy as satisfying your craving for a slice of cake.

19sept.

2010-09-20T20:42:00.001+08:00

No one said getting over was easy. It's only easy if you didn't love.

2010-09-20T20:39:00.001+08:00

i decided to let my ears rest for a day in the morning and the loudest sound i heard was the sound from the OL's high heel.

Travis Ng.

2010-09-19T02:10:00.002+08:00

happy birthday bro♥

oh and to sam too! :)

2010-09-19T02:08:00.001+08:00

i ditched the masking tapes and art cards. went for pool and watched grown ups.
now im so damn drained. gonna have a short nap and wake up in the middle of the night to go on further.
good luck to me man. sigh

2010-09-18T14:48:00.002+08:00

i had 15hours of sleep last night. but i feel like sinking into another 24hours of it after surviving for 4hours of handling with masking tapes, 310g art cards and making lunch for me and my bro.

2010-09-12T14:43:00.002+08:00

i'm having this fucking bad menses crap that i can scream for help i swear.
plus the over loading homework i have yet completed at home is torturing me x2.
i self gave myself an extra week to complete photoshop assignment and i have yet touched it.
tmr's monday. monday has photography. i have no shit idea what to deal with the portfoilio.
fml..com/sng.sg

2010-09-10T11:43:00.002+08:00

another stayover with the girls. this time at sher's crib.
music, youtube, crackers, bread, barley&mangosteen juice, colouring, cig+talks, talks, and more talks. nice xoxo

2010-09-10T11:34:00.002+08:00

ever since 2weeks(or more) ago, my living room has little corner which is just in front of my room, for me. it's my small work place. idk if i'm supposed to feel happy or sad about it. selamat hari raya everyone~ holi holi holiday for a day -.-

2010-09-05T15:07:00.001+08:00

i've been a very good girl, a very good nerd.

2010-09-05T15:04:00.000+08:00

oh no. no i don't need anyone but my friends. (lov)

2010-09-01T19:53:00.001+08:00

i am having this bad headache now. and it has been happening for quite a few days already... what is happening to me :(

2010-08-31T21:39:00.002+08:00

i have no idea why you always come back into my mind out of a sudden everytime when i have already thought of you as a friend.
was it cause im too competitive? cause i can't have you back that's why i'm behaving this way?
or is it cause i've sank too deep? i would like to believe it's the first.

2010-08-25T21:42:00.004+08:00

bu zhi dao she me shi hou, wo kai shi you xiang qi yi qian de shi.

bu zhi dao wei she me, zhi you ni neng rang wo you na zhong kuai le de gan jue.

bu zhi dao zhe me yang, cai neng ba ni wang le.

bu zhi dao wei she me wo bian de zhe yang.

zhi zhi dao, wo hao xiang ni, wo hao hou hui ba ni fang ka, ba ni dang zuo li suo dang rang.

wo zhen de, zhen de, hen hou hui, hen shang xing, hen xiang hui dao guo qu.

2010-08-24T20:04:00.002+08:00

i have a feeling.
a feeling, that something is gonna happen.
but i have no idea if its a good or bad thing.
and obviously, with fingers crossed, i hope its gonna be something good.

2010-08-24T20:02:00.000+08:00

2010-08-24T20:00:00.002+08:00

i. blank.

2010-08-22T01:14:00.001+08:00

idntgitars.bijnsbtl. hmmmmmmmm

2010-08-22T01:11:00.001+08:00

f.m.l.

2010-08-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

met the girls - ff today finally after so long!
had a super filling dinner at bedok85. yumyum
miss ya'll very very much!
see u all soon again k! lovxox ;)

2010-08-19T22:54:00.001+08:00

MY EYES ARE GETTING SMALLER EVERYDAY MAN, BGKS STRONG. JIALAD. GNW

2010-08-19T22:53:00.003+08:00

work load is piling up everyday. i guess thurs is the most relaxed day.
no drawing, plain writing and writing and..... writing. no homework too!
ok maybe ccs. but well.... wadeva. it's friday tmr!!!!!

2010-08-16T18:02:00.002+08:00

fml i had a btter idea after developing everything. fucking depressed :(
anws classes are indeed more interesting than orientation but lecture is still as bad.
i can really fall asleep or stone during the whole process. tsk.
but it's still to fast to say cause today's just the first day~

http://www.wiedenhoff.nu/indones/sumatra.htm

2010-08-15T11:57:00.000+08:00

Dance
It's said there's a different dance for every one of Sumatra's 100 districts, and that the island has as many dancers as single girls. Married women seldom dance. Sumatran dancers, known for their gaya (grace), are masters of smooth, soft, willowy movements. Candle dances (tari lilin or tari piring), in one form or the other, are performed all over the island. In the handkerchief dance, men and women each hold one end of a large white square cloth. They perform a kind of maypole dance, winding in and out and turning around, tying the handkerchiefs in a series of knots. At the conclusion, they untangle the cloth immediately and faultlessly.

Architecture
The traditional architecture, especially of northern and western Sumatra, is magnificent. Large rectangular buildings on wooden pilings are built one to two meters off the ground, with swooping saddle-shaped roofs and high gables at both ends that rise to a point. Structures are often adorned with geometric designs and buffalo horns, and carvings grace the gable-ends. So impressive are these structures that they've served as models for 'national' architectural styles. By contrast, houses along the rivers, swamps, and jungles of eastern and southern Sumatra are simple pole cottages with ladders (tigers can't climb ladders).

As for classical monuments, since Sumatra's great Sriwijaya were more concerned with international trade and control over the Strait of Malacca than in governing the interior, no great monument complexes were produced. The few temples and stupas that do exist (such as at Padanglawas, Muaro Takus, and Kota Cina) are in such a state of ruin they don't grab you like Java's finely crafted and preserved monuments.

2010-08-15T11:56:00.001+08:00

FML. THE QUESTIONS FOR SUMATRA GALLERY SEEMS TO BE NEVER ENDING. F.M.L.

2010-08-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

had a great day with my baby girls today ♥
tho the weekend seems short and ive yet started the freaking sumatra thing,im pretty looking forward to classes on monday!

2010-08-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

as much as im enjoying and satisfied with what i have, i yearn for something new.

2010-08-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

i wanna puke. bloated

2010-08-11T18:06:00.000+08:00

i'm looking forward to the first lesson hmm....

2010-08-11T18:01:00.000+08:00

2010-08-07T16:09:00.000+08:00

Damn tired and moodless for work. My left hand is killing me with this unknown sharp pain argh

2010-08-05T19:45:00.003+08:00

times when i'm at my lowest point, i blame myself for making every little thing that caused it. i blame god for playing my life, i thank the person in a sarcastic way for making my life miserable.
but,what i never ever thought of before was. i'm so much luckier than others who suffered more and had more misfortunes than me. there's a point of life whereby i should learn to enjoy my sufferings, to learn that i'm much more fortunate and lucky than other people out there.
time to be a tad bit more positive.

2010-08-04T00:28:00.002+08:00

it's amazing how i could get over this so quickly.
faster than i thought how i could. it's good tho.
but sometimes when i suddenly thought of what happened before, i still feel a little upset.
but thinking further, i think we're better off as friends.
afterall, i don't need anyone. it's more of a hindrance now.
i'm starting to experience what is 'no time for myself' again.
it's not that sad right? just that i really lack of sleep.
i had a nap after my dinner just now.
after more than half a year, i finally took a nap again.
it's been long huh. i should get used to this soon. hmm..

2010-08-04T00:22:00.002+08:00

life in ls and ite are different. the people i met are different too.
i miss LB a lot.

2010-08-04T00:21:00.001+08:00

i kinda screwed my template up. should have just sticked to the old one. SIGHTSK

2010-08-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

it's empty.

2010-08-01T21:57:00.002+08:00

omg it's 10 alr. i should have my oat and hurry get some sleep. NIGHTS WORLD

2010-08-01T21:54:00.001+08:00

FUCK.
SCHOOL.
STARTS.
TOMORROW!?!??!?!?!?

OMFG.
I.
HAVE.
TO.
WAKE.
UP.
AT.
6.45AM.
OR.
MAYBE.
7.
ARGH.
WHY?!?!?1?!?
I.
CANNOT.
BELIEVE.
TIME.
IS.
FLYING.
PASS.
SO.
SOON.

on a lighter note, i freaking went on a retail therapy again. in search of a new wallet.
but. as usual, i got off track and got more than that. but i'm happy that i've got a new bracelet for myself!!^.^v
and fuckmylife cause im constipating. WALANEH~~ GAO WEI

2010-07-29T20:51:00.002+08:00

orientation was..... rotipratachaguaytiaofunfairbuildrollercoaster tiring.

kinda boring and my body battery was draining which results a very very very very very tired me.

and i've got work tmr?! fml. nights earthlings

2010-07-27T02:45:00.002+08:00

_l_ to hell with my moodswing. fucker.com

2010-07-27T02:44:00.002+08:00

its sad when you realise ppl you love are actually drifting away from you.

2010-07-27T02:33:00.001+08:00

wa very angry now. my moodswings are back. zzzzz
either way i dont owe anyone a living so i dont give a flying fuck. bye

2010-07-25T03:48:00.000+08:00

Before you judge, Act.
Before you speak, Listen.
Before you hate, Love.
Before you write, Think.
Before you pray, Forgive.
Before you quit, Try.

2010-07-25T03:47:00.000+08:00

it's weird. how i actually happen to be thinking so much of you. hahaha weird leh!!! :/

2010-07-21T00:21:00.001+08:00

hahahhaha hi world, i'm feeling fucking sad now. please, let me get over this fucken shit please. fuck this, hahahhahhaha im sad. hahahhahahah fuck